A Lighter Side of Life

I Did IT!

lighterlife — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 16:29:09 +0000

Finally, I have a college degree and yes, its JUST an Associates Degree but it’s only the beginning. It has taken me over 10 years (since I graduated high school) to get this degree and so the accomplishment I feel is wonderful! I am the first in my immediate family to graduate from college…my sister is next. I pray that my children and her children follow suit.

Re-evaluation

lighterlife — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 20:45:11 +0000

I did a lot of thinking last night…some of it rational and some of it not (LOL). I think that I have had my life headed in a direction that I am proud of but not quite in the direction it really needs to be in.

There have been a chain of events with my dad, people taking advantage of my husband, and a few other things that made me realize that school really isn’t where I need to focus my energy.

I am worrier. I was diagnosed with social anxiety a few years ago and choose not to subject myself to the awful side effects of anti depressants. I want to focus on a more stress free and anxiety free lifestyle. Not that I don’t know but school doesn’t help.

It also takes away from my kids and my family time. I have missed out on a lot of weekend family activities because of a degree that I “couldn’t wait to have”. I dont want to say “I wish I would have done…” anymore!

Irritated

lighterlife — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 01:48:39 +0000

You know what gets me? Is people that think that they can’t settle for less in their life and so anyone that does…they seem to look down on them or talk about them behind their back or just whatever. For instance, I can handle the “less” part of life. I mean I don’t drive a brand new vehicle…it doesn’t even have air conditioning. It isn’t killing me to sweat. I dont have a brand new house…but I mean I don’t live in a shack either. I dont wear brand name clothes and I dont care! I think its a waste of money to be honest with you. I’m perfectly happy shopping at a consignment shop. I find clothes in shops in Hot Springs with TAGS still on them for 75% less or more than if I went to the “real” store to get them. So sue me! You think you’re better than me because I dont have all the amenities you have? I could care less and I sure don’t go around trying to keep up with you either. That’s your own problem if you think that I am trying to be “as good as” you. Cause I don’t care. It doesn’t make me a hill billy. It doens’t make me poor. It makes me ME! Something I know about…but do you know how you really are? Maybe I have more than you do and you don’t even see it. You know why? Cause you don’t see TRUE happiness and cotentness. Its not visable except for the fact that you can’t bring me down and I love my life. I dont care…talk about me…I encourage it. Maybe one day you’ll realize YOU DON’T bring me down. I’m not worried about people like you…cause I am ME and no one can take that away…worry about yourself cause I can handle what’s going on with me. K! And to be honest with you…I’m pretty FED up with people that try to look down on others because of how they live…maybe you ought to stay in your own business and get out of theirs. There’s only ONE person that will judge me…and no one here qualifies. So butt out!

I’m tired of caring

lighterlife — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 01:44:37 +0000

Seriously, my dad is a major alcoholic. And since he and my mom split up my sister and I have been in the background of his life. He calls me when he needs something or is drunk and feels bad because he has nothing to do with us. People tell me to pray, don’t hold a grudge because its not worth it. Well, number 1, I dont hold a grudge against him but when you are almost 60 years old I think you’ve had PLENTY of time to grow up! I think you’ve had PLENTY of time to realize that you obviously NEED HELP! You want me to bring your grandkids around you so they can see you pop all those pills and down whiskey…nah. That’s okay. I’ve seen enough of it I’m not putting them through it. Funny, it seems they have a relationship quite like I had a relationship with his dad. I’m sick of it. I’m TIRED of feeling bad about not going to see him. The other day someone said my dad had been in the hospital. I called him and was panicking because he had been layed up in the bed with a bad back and then come to find out he can drive to Camden and NOT go see my sister but yet he wants me to feel sorry for him because his back hurts. SORRY! If you’re back hurts that bad…then you probably shouldn’t be driving almost 2 hours to Camden to see your girlfriends family should YOU! So you know what…I’m done! I’ll be his daughter…I’ll pray for him but I AM NOT going to be played for an idiot! I’m am his child and I shouldn’t have to feel like he lies to me about stuff like this! I’m through! You wanna know what it feels like to have a dad and him not be in your life…well, just come live in my shoes for a little while. I haven’t seen my dad since Thanksgiving of last year! You think he’s made any attempt to come see me? I invite him over and he makes up excuses. I drive to Malvern and meet him at the park and he stays 10 mins! SO WHATEVER! I hope that whiskey and those pills make ur life worthwhile…cause its a bunch of trash you put in your body! And like the saying goes….you’ll die from putting it in ur body time after time…

AND this is why I DO NOT DRINK people…its nothing but a bunch of crap and the way alcoholism runs in my family…on both sides…I will NOT even let the devil tempt me into becoming what has become of my dad. Don’t get me wrong..I LOVE my dad…I love him with all of my heart…but I CAN NOT deal with the stress of this ANYMORE! I can’t do it.

My Notebook, Part I

lighterlife — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 01:48:53 +0000

Most of you that know me know that my absolute favorite movie is The Notebook…and my favorite author is Nicholas Sparks. I CANNOT get enough of his novels and The Notebook, to me, is sincere and true love. Sooo…after Travis and I met and we feel madly in love and there were so many things that led up to our marriage that I never want to forget…well, you guessed it…I bought a journal and I started recording those memories in case one of us “loses our memory” and we need to remember how we got where we are…so let me begin to tell you “our notebook”…
On June 2nd, 2006 I just came back from a birthday trip from North Carolina. I was living in East Camden…in a cute two bedroom apartment…only being divorced for a short time. I was free of an abusive husband I had put up with for 6 years. But to be honest with you I wasn’t “happy” like I felt I needed to be. There was something missing. Don’t get me wrong…my children kept me busy and I loved their company but I needed something…ok, back to June 2nd. My cousin, Melissa called me and told me and the kids to come to Shouste Ford (its the backwoods…Lake Degray) because they were grilling and taking the boat out. So, I’m like…okay, why not? We didn’t have anything else to do. So I’m sitting there talking to Melissa and her sister (my other cousin) Gina. Everyone else is swimming or on the boat. We were basically just catching up because we hadn’t seen each other in a while. So we are sitting there talking and this white Chevy Cavalier pulls up (later I would refer to this as my “white horse”…lol) and out steps this guy that is hooooottttttt! I mean he had sparklin’ blue eyes, dimples…shaved head…earring…omg…and then he spoke and his voice was like super deep. I’m like Gina! Who is that?! She’s like, who? I’m like that guy…right there. She’s like oh…that’s just Travis..he works for Dustin (Melissa’s husband). The way she said it it was like…don’t even go there…lol. So…I dropped it. Didn’t say anything else about him…didn’t even speak to him. And actually, I ASSUMED he was a “bad boy” from his appearance.

So, I decide I want to go tubing…and my cousin, Phillip is gonna go with me. So I’m like putting on my life jacket on the side of the boat…right in front of this “Travis” dude and it embarrasses the crap out of me because the lifejacket is a little snug…so I’m struggling to snap it. Well, I get it on and jump on the tube with Phillip. Still…never speaking to this guy…never thought anything else about him.

I get off the tube…we eat…I leave and go home.

The next afternoon I get a text message from my cousin Melissa that she knows a guy that she can hook me up with. I’m like who? She’s like its this guy that works for Dustin, his name is Travis. I’m like WHAT? Hold on…I thought he was bad news. She was like, Travis? No! He’s a really sweet guy. Who told you he was bad news? Anyway, I told her what Gina said. I was like GIVE HIM MY NUMBER!
But the whole time I’m thinking…he’s not gonna call…they are getting my hopes up. I get home around 5:45 and MY PHONE RINGS. I answer it and its Travis.

For about two weeks…we talked on the phone for HOURS at a time…til early morning hours. We got to know each other…we both had two kids…both divorced (obviously…lol)…we were the same age…graduated high school the same year…were both in band…went to the same band competitions….OBU….he had been at my cousin’s annual Halloween party all those years and I never even knew him. We had crossed each other’s path so many times and never even knew it.

So one day he asks me when I’m going to come back up to Melissa’s cause they were going take the boat out again and he would like to see me. So I’m like I dont know…we can probably do that. Then…what got me…was when he said…”I want to take you AND the kids out for dinner”. Not…I wanna take YOU out for dinner but me and the kids. He knew I was a package deal. Oh, and a sidenote…he loved kids and had wanted a family his whole life. (yeah, I know…too good to be true, huh?!) Oh, and he also said he would give me gas money if I would come see him. So, I’m like, really? SO the kids and I packed up one Saturday after my sisters babyshower and we went to Melissa and Dustin’s.

About a week or two before I met Travis I was planning on moving to Malvern into my cousin, Gina’s rent house to get out of Camden. I didn’t like living in the same town as my ex husband. So, we moved in July of 06 to Malvern.

Ok, back to me going to see Travis. So…we ALL go out to eat at El Chico’s in the mall. I’m SOOOOOOOOOO nervous. And when I say all…I don’t mean Travis, me and the kids…I mean…me, travis…my kids…melissa….dustin…their son….his borther and sister in law and their two kids…chris and gina and their youngest son…and i think maybe another couple. There were a TON of people there. Which was good because I had someone to talk to. I was still so nervous though. Keep in mind I DO NOT like eating in front of people that I don’t know…especially if I like them. And also keep in mind that we had been talking on the phone for two weeks…for HOURS. We’re eating…blah blah..everyone’s having a good time and Travis gets up to go to the bathroom. Everyone just looks at me and starts making fun of my because they can tell I’m nervous as heck. I can’t quit smiling. LOL. He comes back and he and my cousin’s husband Chris go out to smoke…at the time I smoked too so I went out with them and then I realized…I’m taller than him! I was so disappointed…lol. If you know me you know that I’m very self conscious about it. So we leave and we all go back to Melissa’s. He sits and we all talk for about an hour and then I’m trying to get Matt asleep so he’s like I better go so you can take care of him. I’m like well hang on just a sec. So Matt falls asleep I put him in bed and I walk him out. We’re standing outside and I’m like…why haven’t you talked much. He goes I don’t know…I’m just nervous. I haven’t dated in a long time. I’m like okay…well, I’ll call you in the morning. And he leaves. He never even tried to kiss me or anything.

I go back upstairs and my cousins are laughing cause I’m like a high school girl in love. LOL. For two weeks I can’t stop laughing and smiling. AND my kids love him! (yea, I know…still too good to be true). I’m laying there watching a movie with Melissa and Gina and my phone starts going off. Its a text message! At that time I didn’t really text. So I open it and its from him. He’s like I don’t want you to think I don’t like you because I really do! I’m just really scared and nervous. So we text back and forth for a while and then we’re both really tired so we go to bed.

The next morning we get up and eat and I call him and let him know we’re getting ready to head out to meet us at Point Cedar. He’s like well, can I come to Melissa’s and ride with you and the kids? I’m like SURE! So we all go to the lake. Again, all day…we barely speak and my cousin is like…do you guys really like each other or not? LOL We have a good day at the lake but I have to go home to get ready for work so I leave around 7 and he gives me a hug and says call me when you get home to let me know you made it okay. I’m like…OH I WILL! LOL.

Well, those weekends at Melissa turned into an every weekend occurance until finally I just started staying the weekend at his house with the kids. And then when I moved to Malvern…we had been together about two months and he sends me this text that says…I think I’m falling in love with you! And I’m so shocked I have no idea what to say…and because I didn’t respond right away he texts me back and is like…omg…I’m so sorry…I shouldn’t have said that…its too soon, huh? I’m like you say what you feel…and I feel the same way. So, I’m living in Malvern and he pretty much stays over there everyday after work really late and one night we’re sitting out under the stars and he says…you know…I’d really like for you to be my wife…will you marry me? And I’m like..what? Seriously? He’s like yeah! I love you! And I’m sitting there thinking…is this guy for real? Did I just fall into a perfectly wonderful relationship after just a couple of months…and now we’re going to get married? So I said yes!
And on Jan 27, 2008 I became his wife!

Out to dinner

lighterlife — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 19:56:23 +0000

I’d just like to say that if you are going to agree to go to dinner with another couple to make sure you are up for anything. For example, last night we went to dinner with my husband’s best friend and his girlfriend and her baby. I can get along with just about anyone…but sometimes…there are people that think they know everything and just make you cringe. Seriously, the whole time…I’m sitting there staring at the walls while she and Travis talk about their previous careers in food and how things are done at this particular restaurant we were at. Number 1, we’ve been to this restaurant several times…don’t need input on what is what because we know. Number 2, my husband was a manager and YOU were a waitress. Do not sit there and try to make it look like you know what is going on. And who wants to talk about that crap for a whole hour. Not me! Next time, we’ll be going solo or we’ll just stay home…that was just a little ridiculous.

Saturday

lighterlife — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 20:46:12 +0000

Today is probably my favorite day of the week. I have the house to myself pretty much unless the kids are here. I can clean, sleep, study, read, or just sit and stare at the wall if I want to. Travis is at work and when get to have lunch together. He gets off at 5 and then we either go do something or spend time together at home. Our life is by far probably the most boring to a lot of people, including our kids…LOL. But we don’t really see it that way. You see both of us had a childhood where our parents partied a lot and we saw a bunch of stuff we shouldn’t have. When we were teenagers we partied a lot too so now that we are grown I think we are just happy with what some of you might call a “dull life”. But we are content and very happy with it. Every moment we are together we are creating memories and we dont’ have to go out and do that to have fun or to feel like we are “living”. Sometimes just relaxing is good enough. I’m very blessed to have such a wonderful husband that does not wish to go to bars and act like a heathen. Trust me, my first husband was like that so I don’t ever want to go back to that! I’m not saying that people that like that life style are heatens nor are they bad people its just not for us.

24 Reasons to Gather Around the Dinner Table

lighterlife — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:44:11 +0000

How often does your family have dinner together? If you’re like most families nowadays, the answer is probably, “Not very often.” It’s understandable. Modern families are busy. Both parents work and sometimes get home at different times. Children have activities to go to, and Mom’s got to drive them all over the place. Really, who’s got the time and energy to even cook dinner every single night? You, that’s who! Eating together is good for you and your family. So you better make time and find the energy to make home-cooked meals and sit down and eat together more often. Researchers have found many benefits to home-cooked meals. Watch this video to learn about some of them. In my own experience, though, there are many more.

Here are 24 reasons I have found to share family meals more often:

1. Families who eat together eat healthier, because home-cooked food is healthier than fast food.

2. Family meals allow busy families to catch up with each other.

3. Young children learn a lot of verbal skills just by eating with their family members.

4. It gives everyone a chance to unwind after a busy day.

5. Having family meals more often forces you to end your working day and other obligations in time for dinner.

6. Home cooked meals are not only healthier, they’re also cheaper than takeout food or eating out.

7. Eating together forces everybody to tell stories.

8. Cooking at home motivates you to be creative with your meal planning and cooking.

9. Children can get involved in cooking meals.

10. Cooking and eating together creates happy childhood memories.

11. Eating together is an opportunity to explore different cuisines.

12. Eating with your family is more fun than eating in front of the television (or the computer).

13. Eating together gives parents a chance to talk about current events from their point of view, injecting their personal values without giving a lecture.

14. Eating together helps family members bond and get to know each other better.

15. You’ll be surprised what your kids reveal when you’re in a relaxed environment, such as a family meal.

16. Kids are less likely to roll their eyes when you reminisce and tell stories from your childhood while eating a meal together.

17. Family meals can be good teaching moments, even for small children. My toddler learned how to count by counting after-meal treats on his high chair.

18. Eating together is a good opportunity to teach and model good manners.

19. Family meals give a good transition from work or school to home life.

20. Family meals are also good times to share music together.

21. Family meals teach everyone valuable life skills, such as sharing and taking turns.

22. Stopping and sitting down to a meal gives everyone a chance to quiet down and regroup.

23. Family meals provide an additional occasion for family members to pray together.

24. Eating home is more eco-friendly than eating out or ordering food – less waste! If you think having family meals is too much work, don’t despair. You can get help for everything from meal planning to putting your weekly grocery shopping list together. Check out Dine Without Whine for kid-tested, quick recipes that will help you put together family meals with less effort. Dine Without Whine’s weekly shopping lists will also help you get food shopping done much faster, and even save money on groceries. As you can see from the list above, the extra time and effort you spend to have family meals more often are worthwhile.

Thunder

lighterlife — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 23:16:57 +0000

I love how thunder sounds…how the air feels when its about to rain…how you can smell rain…see the dark clouds…its so refreshing…or maybe that’s not the word I’m looking for but I just love the feeling of thunderstorms (assuming they dont turn into really severe weather…LOL). When I was a kid my dad and I used to go out on the back porch and watch the lightening and how it made the sky glow. It was absolutely amazing to me. The power of electricity…how it can light up the dark sky and for one second make the world light. How you can catch a glimpse of the scary dark clouds that will release cold wet rain at any time. Even though I’ve seen it 100 times…everytime it still amazes me! Nature. It’s awesome.

My Weekend and completely rambling random thoughts

lighterlife — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 22:06:08 +0000

So I have two really cool friends that inspire me to keep up with my blog here lately (thanks Sly and Drucilla)…lol. I enjoy reading their open mindedness to life about their children, beliefs and just whatever. You guys give me a lot of inspritation..so thanks!

What would my weekend be without…you guessed it…HOMEWORK? I can’t seem to get enough to do, apparently. I finish my degree in Criminal Justice next month and it seems like this little over a year an a half of getting this degree has taken four. I work full time, I have two kids, I have a husband, pets, housework, cooking, when the kids are in school I have to help them do homework, and the list continues. In September I had planned on continuing my education through University of Phoenix to get my Bachelor’s Degree in Pscyhology but I decided that their tuition is becoming ridiculous and then started contemplating nursing school…again. So, I officially withdrew from the BA program at U of P and sent in my admin application to National Park Comm College to start my nursing career. Why do you ask don’t I take a break? Because I don’t know how. If I don’t go to school or have a JAM packed schedule at all times I feel like I am not accomplishing anything. Will it make me old too soon? Am I too serious? Am I a book nerd? Do I just crave knowledge? I get these questions and ask my self these questions all the time. And the answers are probably YES. But hey, at least you know if I am every your nurse I will be a good one!

My inspiration to become a nurse comes from a while back. When I worked at the ER in Camden. The nurses there rocked! But really, I have a big heart for Americans (or any one really) that have little or no health care and I am compassionate about their well being. Because I know, from experience, those patients are treated differently by hospitals, clinics, etc. Maybe not on purpose but they are especially in rural areas where poverty determines a person’s lifestyle. It’s sad but its a fact of life and I honestly think that health care providers focus too much on money and not enough on patients…and well, we all know…without patients…we’d have no job. With that said, I believer there are millions of health care providers that are good and compassionate and caring but I think we can always step up our compassion. Life is already hard enough…I want to help people…so I’ll start taking steps to do that here pretty soon. Geez, how’d I get on that? LOL

All in all, my weekend has been good. Yesterday was a productive day and with good intentions today was supposed to be BUT not so much. LOL. Travis and I did go to the grocer in the swealtering heat, we worked on our budget, then took a “power nap” which ended up not so much power in the end. We woke up to a HOT house. The AC is working but because the temp is 130 according to the front porch thermometer…the air is working OT to cool the house. Needless to say we broke out the box fans to help it along. Conclusion: we need more shade trees out front!